Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Translating with the Twins! This installment is part two of our Wake Up, Sleeping Beauty translation walkthrough. We covered the first panel of the following page last time, so this time we'll start with panel three...I mean, we could do panel two, too, but...well, just look.
And here's the breakdown of the text for the whole page:
1.Daremo / inai / machi / no / mannaka / o / aruku / to sa. 2.Ousama / mitai / na / kimochi / ni / naranai? 3....Fushigi na / hito / da / na. 4.Zenzen / sugata-katachi / ga / tsukamenai. 5.Heya / wa / chirakasu / kuseni / souji / wa / suki. 6.Oshare na / fuku / ga / ippai / aru / noni / kiteru / tokoro / wa / mita / koto / ga / nai.
Now let's get started!
3....Fushigi na / hito / da / na. We'll worry about that ellipsis later, and look at the actual words first. Fushigi na is the adjective form of fushigi, which is a word that seems easy to translate, but can be surprisingly tricky. Basically it means “strange,” but in a mystifying, inexplicable sort of sense, as opposed to, “Wow, that's really weird.” In this case, it's like a more positive way of saying someone or something is weird. Just using “strange” usually gets that sense across, but not always, so we like to stop and think about if before just throwing the word out there. In this case, I think it's fine. So what's strange? A hito, or person. And da means “it is.” So, “Strange person, it/he/she/they is,” as Yoda would say. Based on panel two, we can be pretty sure that is a reaction to the girl in the first panel, and that the strange person is a she. In this particular sentence, the na at the end indicates a casual assertion, like he's making a conclusion based on what he's observed so far, but isn't necessarily committed to it. This often gets translated to something like, “Isn't [she]?”, “Right?”, or, “Huh?”, or basically anything that sounds like a reaffirmation or a request for agreement from somebody else. Because this character is thinking this line to himself, these translations only work if he's the type to talk to himself, and/or if it fits with the dialogue/thoughts that follow. Looking ahead, I'm going to say it feels out of place, so we'll just use a period and have that suffice. Now let's address the ellipsis at the beginning. In dialogue, an ellipsis is used to indicate a pause. Some editors/publishers object to putting them at the start of a sentence, because ellipses are also used to connect sentences that are broken up into different bubbles, and it can be confusing to see an ellipsis that doesn't connect to anything before it. On the other hand, the pause implied by an ellipsis can indicate hesitation or thoughtfulness, so there's an argument to be made that removing the ellipsis will remove that nuance. There are ways to work around it, of course, and those ways are going to change based on what the dialogue actually says. In this case, the previous panel indicates that pause pretty strongly on its own, so it wouldn't hurt the dialogue too much to just remove the ellipses, but to give examples of other solutions, we could potentially start his line with a, “Wow...,” because “wow” expresses an emotion rather than an idea (in this case, the emotion would be, “I am impressed at how unusual this person is”). We could also start it with “Uh...”, which is a sound meaning “I'm not sure what to say [and am therefore stalling],” but he has no reason to stall when the only listener is himself. So in this case, we'll probably just take it out. For now we'll go with, “What a strange girl,” but we might change it depending on how the rest of his monologue goes.
4.Zenzen / sugata-katachi / ga / tsukamenai.
Zenzen means “not at all” when it's followed by the negative form of a verb, and a quick glance at the end of this sentence tells us that it is. In other words, whatever the verb is doesn't happen at all, but we'll get to that later. For now, we'll look at sugata-katachi. All of the dictionaries we consulted say it refers to physical appearance. (Sugata means appearance, katachi means shape; put them together, you get physical appearance.) When we look up the verb that goes with it, it turns out to be a little confusing. Let me explain. Tsukamenai is the negative potential form of tsukamu, which is to say it means “cannot tsukamu.” Or, if you want to get really technical, the ga makes sugata-katachi the subject, and the negative potential form of the verb means that subject is not tsukamu-able. If the verb were not in the potential form, the correct grammar would be to say “sugata-katachi o tsukamanai;” sugata-katachi would be the object of the sentence, and the subject would be the zero pronoun. Tsukamu means to grab, catch, or get hold of. It can also mean grasp—either physically or metaphorically, as in “to grasp a concept.” Unfortunately, none of these meanings make a whole lot of sense with “physical appearance.” “Can't grab her physical appearance” and “can't comprehend her physical appearance” both sound very strange. So, despite our dictionaries lack of metaphorical definitions of sugata-katachi, we must assume that it is a metaphor, as well. It seems like he's trying to form a picture in his mind, not only of what she looks like (which he can figure out by just looking at her; she's right in front of him), but also of what kind of a person she is. A profile, as it were. So if we were to adhere strictly to the Japanese grammar and translate the metaphor, it would be something like, “The profile [of the aforementioned person] is un-graspable.” We can pretty sure from the context that the sugata-katachi is un-graspable to the speaker (or thinker, in this case), especially because in Japanese you would use different grammatical constructions if you were speaking for anyone but yourself. So to make it all sound more natural in English, we have him say, “I can't,” as in, “I can't grasp her profile at all.” That still sounds strange, so we're going to have to play with some options to see what sounds natural and conveys the meaning clearly. And to make sure we ourselves are understanding his meaning, let's see if Tetsu elaborates, and move on to his next line.
5.Heya / wa / chirakasu / kuseni / souji / wa / suki.
Heya means “room” and chirakasu means “to clutter up.” So we know there's a room that's probably messy, and then we have “souji wa suki,” which roughly means “she likes cleaning.” Now we'll look at the fiddly bits to see how they all fit together. Wa shows up twice, but it's not marking the topic either time—we know the topic is the girl, Shizu. We like to think of wa as meaning “as for,” and looking at it that way indicates that these are contrastive “wa”s. As for the room, she clutters it up. As for cleaning, she likes it. Kuseni is a contradictory conjunction, like “but,” but with Implications. Usually when someone uses kuseni to say “but,” as opposed to the more neutral kedo, it doesn't just imply—it states—that there's an accusation or criticism involved. Tetsu is criticizing Shizu for being messy. And he's extra critical because, according to his observations, she likes cleaning. So basically he's saying, “She clutters up her room [how rude], but she likes cleaning [so why isn't her room clean?].”
6.Oshare na / fuku / ga / ippai / aru / noni
This entry is getting long, so we'll try to make this quick. (Spoiler alert: we failed.) “Oshare na fuku” means “stylish clothing,” the ga marks it as the subject. Ippai means “full,” and aru means “to exist” in a place, which could be a literal place or a figurative place. In this case, the place is Shizu's possession, which (we know from ippai) is full of the thing. In other words, she has a lot of it. So she has a lot of stylish clothes. Noni is a fun one. It means “despite the aforementioned fact,” and carries a nuance of surprise and/or discontent. Sometimes it's used to express a whiny sentiment, but in those cases, it's usually the end of the statement. Here, it's only at the end because we cut off the rest of the sentence. There are a few good English phrases that are roughly equivalent to noni, but usually don't work very well in the context. My personal favorite is “and yet,” but that tends to come across as overly dramatic. (Although, if I personally were expressing my confusion the way Tetsu is now, there's a good chance I would use it: She has a ton of stylish clothing, and yet...) “Even though” is the one we see used most commonly, but it must be used judiciously. It might work here, because he's looking at things in a somewhat academic way. If used, it has to go at the beginning of the clause: "Even though she has a bunch of fancy clothes..." A simple “but” will often suffice if the rest of the wording makes the surprise, annoyance, what-have-you evident enough, or if you don't think that nuance is vital to the translation. Sometimes you do have to sacrifice these things because of character limitations or to keep the dialogue sounding smooth. In this case, our opinion is that “but” works best, because Tetsu is making a list of the contradictions in this girl, and we don't want to slow it down with too many words. Also, having a bit of repetition in the list helps emphasize the point. So “She has a lot of fancy clothes, but...”
6.kiteru / tokoro / wa / mita / koto / ga / nai.
Kiteru is short for “kite iru,” which is the -te form of kiru (to wear or put on) attached to iru, which means “to exist [in a state].” In this case, the state of having done the previous verb. It basically works roughly like the -ing form of English verbs, so kiteru means “wearing.” Tokoro means “place” or, like, a point in time or space...or an event? It's an abstract concept, is what I'm saying. It's hard to describe why it means what it means, but for example, “kiteru tokoro” means a scene or situation in which the subject was wearing the object. Incidentally, the object is not stated in this clause; we use the context to infer that the zero pronoun refers to “them,” as in “the aforementioned fancy clothes.” Then we have another wa. I think, with wa meaning “as for,” it's safe to assume that in this monologue, it's used to emphasize the contrast in all the things he's listing. We can't repeat wa in English because there's no single word that always works as a translation for it, which is another reason we like to repeat “but.” Now let's go into "mita koto ga nai." Mita is the past tense of miru (to see). Koto means “[abstract] thing,” in this case, the “thing” is the act of seeing something (in the past). “Koto ga nai” means that thing doesn't exist, so the act of seeing something (in the past) does not exist. In other words, someone has never seen something, and that something is the previously mentioned “scene of [her] wearing [fancy clothes].” Since Tetsu has no way of knowing what Shizu has or has not seen, and the grammar does not imply that he's speaking for anyone but himself, it's safe to assume that he is the one who has not seen the thing. And so we have, “She has a ton of nice clothes, but I've never seen her wearing them.”
So Tetsu's monologue is about all the things that don't make sense about Shizu, and that takes us back to line number 4:
4.Zenzen / sugata-katachi / ga / tsukamenai. It seems like he is indeed trying to figure out what this person is really like, but since a literal translation of the Japanese won't make sense in English, we have to figure out something that will hopefully stay true to the spirit of the line, convey the necessary information, and still sound natural (ideally even good). Something like, “I can't get a read on her at all,” or even a simple, “I just can't figure her out.” But that loses the imagery of him forming a picture of her in his mind, so maybe, “I just can't get a clear picture of who she is.” Yeah, I think I like that. I should probably address that “just,” though. “Just” is a word that tends to get used a lot, to the point where editors will be on the lookout for it as something that might need to be erased. We put it in to this sentence because, without it, we completely lose the nuance of “zenzen (at all).” In this case, the “just” implies “no matter how hard I try, it's not happening.” We could try adding an “at all” to the end of the sentence instead (I can't get a clear picture of who she is at all), but with “of who she is” followed by “at all,” it's not exactly clear what the “at all” is referring to. Is it who she is, or the ability to get a clear picture? And that might not matter, so we can't rule it out. You could also go with “I can't get a clear picture of her at all,” but “who she is” sounds more like a full-body picture of her like sugata-katachi does, and you lose that when you change it to simply “of her.” ...Or at least, that's our take. So here's the whole page: 1.Walking down the middle of an empty street like this... 2.Doesn't it make you feel like a king? 3.She's such a strange girl. 4.I just can't get a clear picture of who she is. 5.She leaves her room a mess, but she likes cleaning. 6.She has a ton of nice clothes, but I've never seen her wearing them. And there you have it! To solve the mystery of who this girl is, read more in Wake Up, Sleeping Beauty, on sale now from Kodansha Comics! And oh my goodness, I hope this walk-through was not too convoluted. Despite the lengthy explanations, this page is actually not that difficult to translate, because as you gain more experience, you get a sense for a lot of things, like all the zero pronouns that had to be inferred. So we hope you get some idea of the things that translators need to know and think about. Tune in next time!
6 Comments
kyuu
11/22/2021 10:31:20 pm
Oh my goodness first off; I wanted to say your blog is super cool! I like how you explain Japanese, and the break-downs are very helpful. It was easy to follow.
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Alethea
12/5/2021 09:31:58 pm
Hello!
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kyuu
12/6/2021 08:38:47 am
Omg no worries!! I was wondering if maybe I should have contacted you somewhere else, but I'm glad the message reached you. 1/16/2023 08:28:45 am
Thank you so much for these detailed information on what goes behind the translation of a work to English. It really breaks down that wall of fans like myself who want more insight but don't know Japanese themselves to compare and contrast to the level that you guys do it.
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Alethea
1/21/2023 03:08:53 pm
Hello, and thank you so much for your comment! We're sorry for the delayed reply.
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1/23/2023 07:35:52 pm
That's awesome! There are many workarounds to that I am sure we can figure something out. Please feel free to email me ([email protected]) or DM on twitter and we can set things up that fits with both of your schedules. Thank you for the reply and talk to you guys soon! Leave a Reply. |
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